|All I do is cry.|
|I am trying to do photos, but I don't even want to look in the camera. My eyes speak volumes about my sadness.|
About two weeks ago, my daughter went to class (she's in college! I'm so proud!) and never came home that night. She's an adult, and doesn't have to ask my permission, however I do ask her to text me and let me know where she is just so I don't worry. Safety measures are important. I woke up on that Tuesday morning and there was no text and her room was empty. I texted her and heard nothing, so I assumed she was sleeping. I went to work.
All morning, my stomach felt weird. It is just not like her to not text me. So I asked my husband (he was home) to please run up to Burger King to make sure she made it to work. He put me off for two hours, and for two hours I nagged the crap out of him until he finally drove up there. And my suspicions were right...she was a no call, no show for work. I knew instantly something was incredibly wrong.
I put a post on facebook looking for her. It went viral. Several hours later, someone found my daughter, alive but unconscious, in a park in Orange City, just a mile from my mom's house. At that point, I had contacted the police already, was in the process of filing a missing persons report. This angel called me, said she found my daughter, and then put her on the phone. I was crying so hard I almost couldn't breathe. I broke every law known to man driving to that park to get her. She was so out of it, I took her to the hospital to be assessed, and it didn't get any better. I found out that my daughter is addicted to pain medications, and had tried to take her own life.
I had no idea she was so unhappy. She loved school, had friends, had access to a vehicle, healthcare, good food. I had no idea how hard she was struggling, how sad she was. And so she took off with friends, swallowed a handful of Xanax, shot up with Dilaudid, and waited to die. I thank God, all she did was fall asleep in the woods.
This is what I posted on facebook, looking for my baby:
|This is us when I sprung her out of the behavior center. Two days after this, she left.|