Sunday, November 22, 2015

Slow Down, 2015!

Ummm, excuse me, 2015.  Just where do you think you're going?!?!

It's been a busy and exhausting year for me for sure. I've thought back on what 2015 has held for me so far.  The loss of a baby, two new jobs, my 40th birthday, a car accident.  There's about 6 weeks left to this tumultuous year, and while I'm anxious for the idea of a fresh start, sometimes I feel like time is going by so quickly and I want it to slow down!  

Last Friday, I had to take a day off work and take Bucket to a testing center.  He's been having seizures, peeps.  One at church, two at school.  I took him to a neurologist (didn't like him) and an EEG and MRI were both ordered.  The EEG went off without a hitch.  Poor Bucket had a panic attack inside the MRI machine and halfway though, we had to stop.  Now I have to reschedule that, but this time he can get sedated.  Kind of annoyed that this wasn't offered the first time, but I know how insurance companies are.  They won't pay for sedation unless you freak out inside a metal tube, first.  Good times.

Bucket is 17 now.  You see those huge shoes?  13.  You see that face?  Beard.  You see my purple sweater?  Freezing.

He's picking at the hospital bracelet.  I was trying to make him laugh by saying they're made of barbed wire and fire ant poison.  And the nurse brought him a warm blanket, so I got my sweater back.  Oh, and he colored his hair!  It's just lighter, he got a friend to bleach it, turns out it made his scalp burn so he rinsed it off before it was done.  So now it's a weird gingery orange color instead of dark brown.

Bucket is not the only one who changed his hair color recently.  His mama needed a change, too.

First off, can you believe I got a pixie 18 months ago?!?!  Look at it!

The day before my 40th birthday, I decided to add blonde streaks.  I enjoyed it, but I missed my dark hair.  So I decided to make a radical change.

Hello, aubergine!

And yes.  I love it.  Ignore my incredibly puffy eyes...seriously, do they always look like that?  Sheesh!!!

One of my relatives on Facebook actually tried to shame me for having purple hair.  Said, "you're not 18 anymore."  Well, no kidding.  I didn't realize I had to hang up fun the day I left high school.  And as my friend Jenn said, I put the FUN in FUNDAMENTAL CHRISTIAN.  She has pink hair and is pregnant with her 8th baby.  I laughed for a good solid ten minutes over that one.  So because I'm 40 and Christian, am I doomed to a life of unkempt hair, denim jumpers and Birkenstocks?  *shudder*

Saturday was my mom's birthday, but she had to work so this is Sunday.  We went to Panera.  I had broccoli cheese soup.  See, the hair doesn't look so purple here.  Say happy birthday to my  mom!!!

My sister, me and my mom.  And doesn't my sister look fantastic?  She's lost almost 80 pounds!

That's all I have for now.  Except that my eyebrows look great.  That's important, you know?

Have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving, and don't eat too much!

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Why Don't You Grow Up?

You'd think this is a post for my children, (sometimes I do say this phrase in my head when I'm dealing with childish behavior from adult children) but I really mean it about myself.  I am 40 years old.  40 for pete's sake, and still sometimes uncertain of my next step in life!  Do any of you feel this way at times?

I bought this awesome heart shirt on, and the maxi skirt is a Target $5 clearance rack special in size XL from last year...or was it two years ago?

So I made it to the 90 days, which takes a lot of stress off me.  I am doing career type stuff now; I am going to be an officer in 2016 for my local chapter of coders, going to meetings, wearing scrubs to work and being as corporate as possible.  Some days, I feel very accomplished.  Others, I feel like a kid playing grown up.  Hello, why am I in a business meeting?!?!  I'm a DOOF.

It appears to me that my husband and I are done on the baby front.  I imagine God can come down and surprise me whenever He wants to, if He chooses to do so.  We have not made any changes to what we do...which means, we do not use any birth control.  Of course with him being a trucker, sometimes he is not home at certain times.  Not only that, but I only have one fallopian tube, so I'm assuming that I only ovulate 6 times per year, and I don't know which 6.

I was considering going back to college and getting my bachelor's and master's degrees.  But that would mean that I am destined for the corporate life, and frankly, I don't know if I have the personality for being corporate 40+ hours per week.  I am mentally exhausted from being in an office from 8 to 5, Monday through Friday.  I imagine this might be how my Bucket feels, having to be social all day and not really having the capacity to do so.  As I've spent more and more time in the office, the thought has occurred that I might be on the spectrum.  I cannot wait to get out of there at 5pm and I hide at lunch so I don't have to do the small talk thing.  So perhaps instead of getting my bachelor's and master's in health care administration, I should just get another coding certification (under $1000, my company would pay for part of it, I would make more money in the long run).  Pretty sure that my long term goal is to be a medical coder working from home.  And I don't need my bachelor's for that.

Oh, and I'm apparently growing my hair out very, very long again.  As much as I love short hair on women, I have learned that it doesn't work on me unless I choose to commit to once a month hair cuts and color.  And I just don't have time or money to deal with that.  This is me back in 2007, I believe.  Wow, I've lost quite a bit of weight since this photo.  My husband loved this hair, and I have to admit it was easy to care for; because it was so long, it was silky smooth.  So, are you ready for my "I'm so sick of this long hair and ridiculous humidity" rants that I am so well known for?

Just stop in and say hi, peeps.  I'll try to do better stopping by and saying hello.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Coming Up On 90 Days

So lots of things have happened since I last logged AUGUST?!?!  Oh my goodness, peeps.  So sorry.

First, I've been learning how to be an actual coder.  I am so grateful that I decided not to have a remote job because being on site is teaching me so much.  That being said, training has not gone smoothly.  Lots of hiccups, lots of me feeling like no matter what I do or try, it's not good enough.  I have a lot of headaches and stomachaches lately.  I will be relieved to get to the 90 day mark, which is October 27th.  If I get there.  I have days when I think I may not make it.  Crazy deadlines, new tasks (teaching doctors how to code?!  I'm just learning how myself!) and new personalities from coworkers have me really doubting myself.  I don't doubt my career choice, but I guess those 12 years working from home made it difficult for me to physically work with people.  I'm trying to learn, and do it kindly.  We'll see.

So I wore this to the corporate office with a black sweater over it.  In my actual office though, I'm supposed to wear scrubs.  I don't care for them.

This is me on my way to church.

So please be praying for me to make it to 90 days.  It's so weird, I spent 13 1/2 years at one place where I felt super confident, although bored.  My confidence is gone...I feel like I'm scared all the time that the rug is going to be pulled out from underneath me.  It's not a good way to feel.  My blood pressure and weight are both up from stress.  I just want to be successful.  :(